


bath & body works

by AlmondRose



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Friendly banter, Gen, Humor, cass is along for the ride, dont let them fool u steph & dami are bffs, tim is so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 16:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13252557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: the prompts were:1) chracters sharing a hobby/doing something only together as their version of ‘bonding’ (ex.: going to movies together regulary, drinking tea in the garden, etc.)2) (bat)family traditions3) “I know you consider yourself expert at these things, but have you considered that I am capable of not f*cking this up?”4) “When was the last time we acted our age?”the final product was kinda a combo of all four.





	bath & body works

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marudny_Robot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marudny_Robot/gifts).



> this is for gen batfam christmas stocking and i hope marudny-robot enjoys!

It was a tradition.

 

Not one that had been happening for many years, or passed down for generations, but it was a tradition.

 

It was one Steph valued, and she was pretty sure Damian liked it too.

 

Every Thursday, Damian would meet Steph in the concert hall after orchestra practice, and they’d walk to the mall and stay there until patrol, during which they’d do rounds together and part ways after ice cream. Steph always bought dinner from the food court and Damian always covered the ice cream.

 

\----

 

It was a regular Thursday. Steph and Damian were in Bath and Body Works, Steph shoving all the smells she liked under his nose and him smelling them. He had a hand sanitizer clutched in his fist. Steph knew he was going to buy it, just cause he liked the smell, but she wasn’t about to say anything. Maybe she could get him a candle if he found another scent he liked.

 

She grabbed something with “cyprus” in the title and sniffed it.

 

“Ew,” she said, and Damian said, “Let me smell it.”

 

Steph handed it to him.

 

“It’s gross,” she said. He made a face.

 

“It is,” he agreed, and she laughed.

 

“Hey, my nose is going numb. Do you want to head over to the food court?”

 

“That is acceptable,” Damian said, glancing down at the hand sanitizer in his hand. Steph wondered what he was gonna do. He could buy it right now, or memorize the name and order it online. It was probably a sign of trust if he decided to buy it in front of her.

 

He looked away, and his gaze fell on something.

 

“There’s a men’s section? Why didn’t we go there?”

 

“Cause boys deserve to use beautiful woman-smells,” Steph said, looking at the small section of dark blue uncomfortably. “Also my dad used to shop over there and I don’t remember what the name of the smell he used was and I don’t want to find out.”

 

“Oh,” Damian said. There was an uncomfortable silence and then Damian said, “I was thinking--”

 

He was cut off by both of their phones buzzing. Steph grabbed hers from her pocket and cast a glance at it.

 

There was a text from Tim that simply said, “He.”

 

“He?” Damian asked. “Who’s “he’?”

 

“There are a lot of dudes in our family,” Steph said. “It could be anyone.”

 

Damian made a noise of agreement and another text went through that said “Lp”.

 

“L P?” Steph repeated, staring at her phone. A second text immediately followed that was a bat emoji.

 

“Well then,” Steph said. “That’s not cryptic at al--”

 

“H E L P,” Damian said. “Help.” Steph looked at Damian. He looked at her.

 

“Guess the food court is gonna have to wait,” Steph said. Damian looked mournfully at his hand sanitizer.

 

\---

 

The second Bat-Girl-Cave was only around the corner from the mall (Steph suspected that once upon a time, Damian might’ve said something like “of course, since only girls frequent that insufferable place,” but Steph knew for a fact that Damian enjoyed the mall. Also a _lot_ of trouble is always started at the mall and it’s a good idea to have a place nearby), so Damian and Steph were quick to a bat-base.

 

Steph pulled open the computer while Damian grabbed his costume--the second Bat-Girl-Cave had spares for everyone--and ducked behind the lockers to change.

 

Steph pulled up the trackers and Robin was out in record time.

 

“There he is,” he said, pointing to the orange blip on the top of the screen. “Right next to Cain’s.”

 

“Neither of their suits are active,” Steph said, closing the tab she was going to use to message Cass. “So they’re both in trouble.”

 

“Get changed,” Damian instructed. Steph didn’t even mind him ordering her around and she darted around the corner to do just that.

 

\----

 

“I will be in charge,” Robin informed her on their way over to the others. Spoiler snorted out a laugh.

 

“Okay, sure,” she said. “Seniority rules, in this example.”

 

“Tt,” Robin sniffed. They arrived at the warehouse where Tim and Cass were held, and Robin said, “I will go in and do reconnaissance. You can wait here for me.”

 

“Like hell I will,” Spoiler said. She got out the screens on her gauntlets and pressed the orange dot under the family section, hacking into Tim’s phone.

 

Nothing happened and Spoiler turned to Robin, a different idea on her tongue, but Robin shoved his own gauntlet in her face.

 

“....way back from Bora-Bora to bail out you kiddies?” a voice sneered and Spoiler noted that Robin had hacked into _Cass’s_ phone.

 

“No way,” a different voice said. “He’s probably swimming in alcohol right now.” Both voices were muffled, possibly because the speaker was in Cass’s pocket.

 

“Good point, you should let us go then, since he’s not gonna bail us out,” Tim’s voice said.

 

“Shut it,” one of the thugs said and the other said, “You’re on thin ice, Drake.”

 

“Someone will come for us,” Cass’s voice said.

 

“Are you kidding? Batman’s in space and Nightwing was spotted with the Titans in Egypt _yesterday._ ”

 

Robin was cutting a circle in the glass of the windows on the roof of the warehouse. He removed it carefully and started to slide inside.

 

“Wait for me here,” he said.

 

“No way,” Spoiler answered, and she followed him down. They landed on a scaffold going around the top of the warehouse.

 

Spoiler crept closer to the edge and peeked down. Tim and Cass were tied to chairs, and there were two masked thugs in front of them.

 

Another thug had a camera trained at them, and three more in the back had guns.

 

“Fantastic,” Spoiler whispered.

 

“I’ll take the thugs,” Robin whispered from next to her. “You can….untie Drake and Cain.”

 

“Oh my _god,”_ Spoiler said, turning to face him. “I know you consider yourself an expert at all this, but have you considered that I’m capable of not fuc--messing this up?”

 

“You needn’t censor yourself for me,” Robin muttered irritably.

 

“Shut up,” Spoiler said, leaning over the scaffold a little more.

 

Robin followed suit and the scaffold creaked, loudly. Everyone on the floor’s head whipped over to them.

 

“What was that?” Thug 1 said.

 

“I ‘unno,” Thug 2 said. Spoiler scrambled back into the shadows as best she could, dragging Robin with her.

 

“You don’t think it was--”

 

“Nah,” Thug 1 said. “Like I said, there’s no bats in Gotham right now.”

 

“That’s our cue,” Spoiler said, and she jumped up, grabbing the bars of the scaffold and launching herself over them, flipping around and sticking the landing on the warehouse floor below.

 

Robin landed next to her, rolling into the fall and getting back to his feet.

 

“That’s what _you_ think,” Spoiler said, raising her fists and smirking at the shocked faces of the thugs. “Robin,” she said, “You get the ones in the front.”

 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Robin said, running for those thugs anyway.

 

“Why not? I _am_ in charge, after all,” Spoiler said, doing a roundhouse and kicking a gun out of one of the thugs’s hands.

 

The other two with guns aimed it at her, and she fake-yawned.

 

“Bor-ing,” she said, flicking a glitterrang at one of them, causing him to drop the gun while he tried to get the glitter from his face.

 

“When were you _ever_ elected in charge of this mission?” Robin asked, and Spoiler kicked one thugs’s legs out from under him, swiping the gun away in the process.

 

“When I was Robin first,” Spoiler said. Robin flipped over the cameraman’s head, using his shoulders as a springboard.

 

“I never agreed to that,” Robin sniffed, and Spoiler heard screams of pain from his end. Good on ya, kiddo.

 

Spoiler punched someone in the face and grabbed Cass’s chair, spinning her around and Cass used her one free leg to kick the guy in the nuts.

 

He whimpered and Steph put Cass’s chair down, using the force of it to push her back to bowl another guy down.

 

“You weren’t there,” Spoiler said. “Because, sadly, you were still in diapers.”

 

“I was never in diapers,” Robin snarled, and Spoiler blinked.

 

“Oh, did you just...go in your pants? Or did infant-you fall in the toilet a lot?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Sure,” Spoiler said, knocking the last guy out. “I’m done, anyway.”

 

Robin growled and smashed the camera over one of the masked thugs’s face. The thug crumpled and Robin said, “So am I.”

 

“Yeah, but I finished first.”

 

“You were distracting me!”

 

“I thought you had impeccable concentration?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Wow, second time in three minutes. Good one, R.”

 

Spoiler leaned over and un-gagged Tim, who was sitting there glaring at them.

 

(He’d been gagged sometime between Steph and Damian entering the warehouse and them starting the fight.)

 

“I can’t believe you two,” Tim said, still glaring. Spoiler started to untie him and Robin moved over to help Cass. “Next time you rescue us, can you _please_ be mature about it? Act like adults?”

 

“Oh, come on, Timmy,” Spoiler said, straightening up and trying not to laugh when Tim fell out of his chair. “When was the last time we acted our age?”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed & comments/kudos are always welcome!


End file.
